


It Was All a   Bad Dream

by lawboy1983



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Bobby Singer is the best, Dean-18, Gen, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Major character death - Freeform, One Shot, POV Dean Winchester, Patricide, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam-14, Weechesters, don't read this if you like john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 18:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11742270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawboy1983/pseuds/lawboy1983
Summary: Dean hates John. He bides his time. Not a happy ending.





	It Was All a   Bad Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies in advance for literally anything. Also, the title is a line from the song Silent Lucidity by Queensryche. It plays in 2x17 when Sam kills Madison so it always makes me think of sad!Sammy. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Obviously.

He had said, “you touch him ever again and I swear I will kill you. Family or not.” John had scoffed at him. Laughed in Dean's face. He always underestimated his sons. He isn't laughing anymore though. John is lying on his back with three bullets in his chest. No one is laughing. Sam is in the corner of their trashy motel room. He's sitting down with his knees pressed up almost to his head. He's shaking and his back is pressed up against the wall so hard it feels like the whole room is vibrating. Maybe that's just in Dean's head because now it feels like the whole room is going to crumble around him, leaving this gruesome scene exposed and vulnerable. Sam has got his arms over his eyes like he's scared to look and Dean thinks “Thank God” because he didn't have time to tell Sammy not to look. He thinks “Thank God” because Sammy is still scared. He has not seen so much bad that it has hardened him, but maybe this is the day that will change that. The shots are still echoing through Dean's head, although it feels like hours ago since he pulled the trigger. He can barely hear Sam's sobs over the shots. He wants to run. Grab Sammy and take him somewhere safe. As far away from here as he can, because that's what Sammy needs. He did this to protect Sammy and won't let himself regret it.   
To the government, and probably most of his “friends”, John is already dead. Has been for a long time. All Dean has to do is salt and burn the body (because why would John not come back vengeful?) Dean needs help carrying out John, but he can't do that to Sam. He can't ask a 14 year old boy to carry the body of his dead father out to the trunk, the father that his older brother just murdered in front of him. He can't put that burden on Sam. This whole mess is on Dean. He drags the corpse (Not Dad. This man was never Dad) to the car. He has a firm grip under its armpits. He is not shaking like Sam is. Dean wants to tell Sam to stay put until he has finished taking care of this, but that sounds just like John and he knows Sam would run away. He always does. So Dean does what he has to do. “Sam. Get in the car. We've got to go.” He says it gently (Not like Dad. Not like Dad. NOT LIKE DAD.) Sam gets up slowly, it's obvious he's still in shock, and grabs his duffel from the bed. Sam doesn't ask why Dean won't let him put his duffel in the trunk. He doesn't need to ask. Sam knows where monsters go when the hunt is over.  
By the time they make it to Bobby’s house (their home), Sam is asleep and Dean carries him inside. Bobby is on the couch with a beer. He doesn't even look up when Dean opens the door holding Sam. He just raises his beer slightly. Once Dean has Sam settled in bed and puts the duffels up, he sinks into the couch about a foot from Bobby. He breaks.  
“Bobby. He-he did it again…to Sammy. He was drunk and he just got so so mad. I walked into the motel room and Sam was on the floor. Second time this week. I just got so mad. I knew Sam couldn't take it anymore. I knew I couldn't either. I didn't know what to do. John wouldn't stop. He just wouldn't stop. I didn't know what to do, Bobby. I killed him. I killed my father. How do I walk away from that? How do I forgive myself?”  
The older man's face softened. He knew exactly what Dean needed to hear (what he had needed to hear all those years ago).  
“You don't and you don't. You run from it. You put it so far behind you that it just becomes another one of the burdens you carry. You reassure yourself with the knowledge that you did the right thing. You protected your brother. Probably saved his life. Remember that Dean, okay?”  
“ Okay”  
Dean never forgave himself and Sam still died.

**Author's Note:**

> Dean is 18 and Sam is 14 in this. I hold the theory that John Winchester abused his sons. If not physically, then at least (canonically) verbally and emotionally. It is sort of implied in this story that Dean was also abused by John, but you can take this however you want. Also in this au, because John is dead the boys live with Bobby. The boys live a normal life mostly free of hunting. Sam goes to college supported and encouraged. He still meets Jess and dies by her side in a “house fire” he knew about days before it happened


End file.
